Unveiling my First Attempt

TA-DAH! Finally my first blog is born ^_^

Have been contemplating to start a blog for journaling the baby's progress. Finally i managed to back-post all my thoughts for the past month and now i officially unveil The First Chronicle!

This is going to be the place for updates on my faith, the baby, our move, and our lives! I hope i'd remember to take more pictures along the way so we can share with you! Stay tuned! :)

Effects of Pregnancy (3)

30April08

I am very thankful that I must have experienced the least of the pregnancy symptoms thus far. Have been eating normally, sleeping normally, and life is pretty much normal except for the growing surge of tiredness.

However these days I’m beginning to understand what is meant by nausea. Each morning when I wake up, I feel intense hunger. And yes puking is about five steps away. Well I really don’t have to puke, but I can if I tried harder. Guess that’s what people termed as Morning Sickness?

Eating is a very strange thing. Hunger attacks like a vicious monster and I MUST eat otherwise I felt like I would puke or faint any moment. Then after I eat, I would feel so full and bloated and puking is on the agenda again. This just goes on and on, round and round through the day. But thankfully I really never got to the point that I needed to puke. It’s just some kind of uneasy feeling. I guess I should belong to the lucky 10% pregnant women!

Yao Ying is so nice to get me a big bag of walnuts! Heard from friends that walnut is good for baby’s brains. That’s great!! Otherwise just depending on the mother’s brains would not be enough ^_^ Thank you Yao Ying!

Effects of Pregnancy (2)

28April08

Tiredness has begun to seize me. I couldn’t keep my eyelids opened after lunch. It was like a big dread was over me and my entire body just had to succumb. Went for a nap that lasted for 4 hours. Yes 4 hours. And I had no problem sleeping again at night.

Read from the book and it says a resting pregnant woman is expending the same amount of energy as a non-pregnant woman doing mountain climbing, though we can’t see the effect. OH WOW it’s unbelievable?! It says the baby’s body parts are beginning to form in the first trimester so a lot of energy is needed. Tiredness is a signal our body gives in need of more rest, and we really shouldn’t fight it.

I’m not sure if this is a valid reason to nap for 4 hours every day at work?!

Effects of Pregnancy (1)

27April08

Hunger has hit me like never before. In the past I felt like a camel as three small misery meals is enough to last me for the whole day. And it’s a surprise if I can finish the entire plate of rice/noodle/whatever on my own at any time.

I shocked myself this morning by what I ate. I had one big pau, and I still was hungry. Strangely I didn’t feel like I can eat noodles that morning and was just craving for bread instead. Then we went to Mac for a filet fish burger. I told Eric I would share the burger with him, but I ended up gobbling down the whole thing. After two buns, I still wasn’t satisfied. Went to 7-eleven to grab a fruit juice. All that for a breakfast? It was the first time I ate like this in probably all my life.

December Baby

24April08

Since the news went out, everybody has been congratulating us and sharing in our joy. Most mornings when I wake up, I still pondered over the fact that we indeed are going to have a baby. Guess the truth has not exactly settled in our brains, though we had so fervently wanted a child before.

Today we are due to visit the gynae. I’m always excited to see the doctor (minus the bills!!) as it brings us more information about the child. Today we saw the heartbeat!! But doctor said baby is only 1cm! HAH! So small, already has heartbeat!? Such is the wonder of God’s creation! Thank God that baby is growing well, and the estimated due date is 10Dec2008.

The only worrying thing was the pregnancy cysts are growing bigger, with one of them slightly over 5cm. Imagine having two ping pong balls in your womb?! It would be dangerous if they ruptured and that would warrant an emergency operation. Otherwise they should disappear on their own by the fourth month or so. Indeed we are very worried, as they do give me abdominal pains once in a while. We are praying for God’s complete healing.

Life Begins ...

10April08

Was nearly late for my appointment and all because I took a wrong turn at Novena! Had already studied the maps for countless times but still got confused by that mega junction. Took the blood test and this time it hurt more and I could see a blue-black swell. Was asked to come back again in two hours to read the results and to consult with the doctor.

The sweet smile of Dr Khi greeted us in the afternoon “I’ve got good news for you”. That really put a sigh of relief in my heart. On hindsight, I was disappointed by my own emotions; it should have been joy first, over relief! Anyhow, I was praising God in my heart and truly know that God has given us this wonderful little gift!

This time we saw the yolk sac and the water bag in the uterus. It was just a tiny little dot but that indeed spells a life! How wonderful is the works of Thy hands! I remembered the beautiful Psalm of David and want to praise God “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Ps 139:13-14

We couldn’t hold our joy for long and quickly arranged to meet with Rev Lai and Pastor BQ for lunch so we could break the news. We also started to send emails to friends and colleagues on this wonderful gift from God. We kept teasing each other about being a “sotong pa” or “sotong ma”. Are we REALLY going to have a baby?

Streams of well wishes and blessings flow from our emails and SMSes. Thank you Lord, for giving us this little angel. We pray for your protection, that the baby may grow healthily. We pray that he/she will be a humble servant of God, always serving Him in His holy presence.

I Know He Holds Tomorrow

9April08

Was feeling very cheery today, while I kept playing back in my mind God’s sovereignty over the situation. He is the creator of all things and He is my heavenly Father. His ways are unfathomable so why do we worry about the things that happen in our life?

Was most comforted at the prayer meeting when we sang the hymn “I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day …. Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand” Felt that this song was prepared for me, for truly I do not know the doctor’s diagnosis tomorrow, but certainly, surely, I know our Lord Jesus is holding my hand :)

We Finally Made It!

8April08

Received a call from Dr Khi during lunch. “I’ve got good news for you. Your blood test shows that you are 5 weeks’ pregnant”. For some reason I was exceptionally calm. I think I was expecting some bad news to follow the good news. I’ve always been an optimist but this time I seem to be more skeptical than usual, probably to keep myself from disappointment.

She told me that my hormonal level was too low, and that explained the faint line on the urine test kit, and seeing nothing on the scans. The normal level was 1,500 but mine was only at 1,000. There could be two reasons: (1) the pregnancy is still in its early stage and the hormonal level should go up in a couple of days to the normal range, or (2) the pregnancy is not growing. The latter is definitely something we do not hope to see.

I was scheduled to go back on Thursday for another blood test, and hopefully by that time the hormonal level is up to normal. Dr Khi didn’t further explain all my “what ifs”; she took the “let’s do the test and see what happens” kind of approach. In a way it was good; it should prevent any thoughts from running wild. But in a way it was bad, because I’m an analyst and I crave for information and making plans way in advance. Suspension and not being in control takes life out of me.

Thank You God for helping me learn how to trust You. In all things, God is in control, so why do I worry? He is our heavenly Father and He knows all things. Children are gifts from our loving God and He holds the perfect timing. I will not be afraid, not be worried, but cast all my cares on Him. I just keep trusting my Lord!

I am resolved to take good care of my body, and cheerfully await the coming of Thursday.

April Fools' Joke or ?

7April08

The best thing to do is to seek confirmation from Dr Khi. Made an appointment for Monday because hubby has no class and can accompany me to the doctor. In a way it wasn’t wise to wait that long because the anticipation and worry was nearly killing me (us) through the week. Am I pregnant? Am I not? Am I?

Did the ultra sound, saw nothing. Did the scan, saw nothing. There were two cysts up to 4cm (didn’t know something that big can be inside the uterus!!) which scared me almost to death. Dr Khi reassured me that they looked like pregnancy cysts, which are supposed to produce the required hormones for pregnancy, and will disappear around the 4th month. Not at all harmless. Ok, but where is the baby??

I could tell even Dr Khi wasn’t totally convinced that I was pregnant. She sounded very reserved when I asked about the status, and was extremely cautious in her replies. She then suggested we do the urine test once again. While waiting, hubby said maybe the test we did on April Fools’ was faulty. Yeah we bought a guardian one, not reliable?

Urine test came out positive. YEAH! But again it was such a faint line. Dr Khi then suggested I do a blood test. I guess at that point, everyone was still doubtful about the pregnancy. The apprehension was truly unbearable, and I prayed every moment for God’s comfort and committed the situation unto Him. As much as I would be upset if the outcome was negative, I asked God to give me strength to trust in Him no matter what happens.

Nurse said she would call me in the evening to inform me on the results. I kept imagining the ringing tone in my head.

Visit of the Stork!!!

1April08

It’s been 10 days since I missed my period. It should have come on 21Apr (Good Friday!), and actually I was quite thrilled when it didn’t come ^_^ I was praying really hard that we would make it this time. The excitement was building up so much that we decided today is the day that I would do the pregnancy test.

Guess I was too excited (or worried) to have a good night’s sleep. I woke up at 3am to go to the toilet and I thought it was already morning and time to do my test! Went back to sleep and can’t wait for morning to come.

Finally, the moment came … waiting, waiting, waited … NEGATIVE. I almost cried when I broke the news to hubby and he held me in his arms. Sad that we didn’t make it, sadder because it means something must be really wrong with my body for missing my period and NOT preggy. Wild thoughts were running through my pea brain ….
Got a hold on myself and turned to grab and dispose of the test kit …. Took one last look to confirm and double confirm the result. Wait a minute … is this a faint line that I’m seeing?! I can’t believe my eyes! Held it up against the light and indeed, there IS a faint line indicating a POSITIVE pregnancy!

Now it made us wonder if this is the best April Fools’ joke ever. We were half-hearted in believing the result as the line was barely there, and well it WAS April Fools’ Day isn’t it? Furthermore, though I suspected I was pregnant, there wasn’t any clear symptoms – no morning sickness, no craving, no nothing.

In the end, we prayed and thank God for giving us this precious gift. I hope I can say I was really happy, but deep in my heart somehow there was still this worry … is it really true?